I was just 14 when I joined drum corps.
By 15, I was teaching three drill teams and one drum corps, our feeder corps, the St. Mary’s Crusaders. When I was teaching the three drill teams, my Dad used to drive me to practices and drop me off around the corner so nobody would know I wasn’t old enough to drive.
At 16, I was offered the job of working with the Charlestown Navy Drill Team.
At 17, I was told by staff not to try out for Guard Captain because I was going to be named drum major.
St. Mary’s Cardinals Color Guard
At 18, my Dad said I couldn’t go to the colleges at which I’d already been accepted because I was a girl and it was only a waste of a college education and good money. He told me I had three choices – teacher, secretary, or nurse. He made me pay for half my college tuition and stay close to home. I went to Salem State College and received my Bachelor of Science in Education. Don’t get me wrong. Salem State provided a great education and I’ll always have my degree, but the choice was not my own.
I loved teaching school, but once my children were born Mom simply said, “You’re going to stay home, right!” So I did.
At 22, I was offered the job of drill writer and instructor for a drum corps (the Danvers Blue Angels).
Truth is, I never taught the Ship Yard Drill Team. Dad wouldn’t let me. “Guys only want one thing. You can’t go.” So I didn’t. I was a good girl.
I was never drum major. The Parish Priest said, “There will never be a girl drum major in the St. Mary’s Cardinals!” And it was too late to try out for a leadership position. So I stayed in the rifle line like a good girl.
I never became the first female drill instructor in Massachusetts because, when I told management I was pregnant with my first child, the corps manager told me to “go back to the kitchen” where I belonged.
I was sexually assaulted by someone in a position of leadership when I was 15. I couldn’t speak up, or cry out, because his behavior was…accepted. Hailed as a conquest. And no one would have believed it. Or thought it was wrong. It’s just “the way it was.” I’ve carried that shame for nearly 60 years. I was a silent “good girl.”
I was offered color guard jobs across the country in the following years. I couldn’t accept them because I was married with small children, and my husband said, “No.” I stayed home and taught many local bands. I was a good Mom.
Let’s now face it. Old-time drum corps wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Church-sponsored corps and drill teams were pools of prejudice and often, intolerance. We grew up in times of gender expectations and blatant discrimination. That was the norm, and we tolerated it. Expected it. Believed it was okay and saw it as almost a rite of passage.
How very sad.
When Jay Murphy came up to the Cardinals from the Crusaders he wanted to be in the color guard. I wanted him in the guard! I’d taught him in the Crusaders and knew how talented he was! The priests wouldn’t let him because “only girls should be in the guard.” So they put him in the horn line. And he quit. How tragic. Jay was inducted into the DCI Hall of Fame this year, and rightfully so! He deserves the accolades for his genius.
Ah, yes, the good old days of “old-time drum corps,” when we knew our places and checked off all the boxes of “proper gender expectations.”
Cleveland, Ohio – 1964
For me, those days were filled with wonder and excitement, pride, and success, but also tainted by a measure of unfulfilled hope and sadness.
The reverberating news from DCI this past week was both encouraging and disheartening at once. Drum Corps International suspended Spirit of Atlanta for breach of the DCI Code of Conduct and Ethics and, as a result, Spirit has suspended its 2022 season in order to step back and reassess its practices regarding sexual misconduct.
Sixty years and countless egregious actions to young men and women, who were taken advantage of by people who should have known better, is too long. It wasn’t just the Cadets, or Spirit of Atlanta, or St. Mary’s Cardinals in the cycle of violation and disrespect. It was a general acceptance of, and blindness to, gender dissonance and expectation that has evolved way too slowly.
I’m thrilled that drum corps has continued to evolve. That we’ve evolved as a society! I wouldn’t have traded my drum corps experience for anything, but, as a woman, the deafening silence of gender inequality and expectation was heartbreaking. I know others, so many others, are glad we’re ever-evolving as well.
I have no regrets. I’m very proud and honored by my Massachusetts Drum Corps Hall of Fame induction in 2011 and for the opportunity to have marched, and taught, and judged. And I’m proud of my family, my three wonderful children, and eight amazing grandchildren. And I’m absolutely thrilled that the next generation is able to enjoy some of the opportunities that were unavailable to so many of us in “the good old days.”
Here’s to today being better than so many of those “good old days.” Here’s to each and every one of us, no matter who we are, or how we define ourselves, for finding a place, an acceptance, and a voice. And here’s to the future. May we all continue to embrace growth, development, enrichment, and enlightenment as we witness the activity we know and love continue to evolve. That means on the field, and off!
As far as I’m concerned, “Forward March!”
Linda O’Connor
Thank you for your pointed, truthful article. I half expected a 1972 Kingsmen vs 2012 BD tome.
Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Faccini.
Linda, I was so unaware of the issues you faced in the past, especially the sexual assault you experienced. You have shown your courage and strength over the years and I truly believe they have made you the amazing woman you have become. Gender expectations and roles were what I remember being taught, not by anyone in particular, but by “the world around me”.
Fortunately the “world around me” has changed and has come to realize that women have the same talents as men and men have the same talents as women. Let’s pray that as a society we realize that we are all God’s children and and deserving of equality in every way
Thanks, Mac! Until a few days ago no one was aware of the circumstances. There’s a common thread of fear, shame, embarrassment, and confusion that follows every young girl who’s fallen prey to the same sense of “entitlement and expectation” on the part of anyone who takes advantage of them. My experience was no different than hundreds of people like me. I’m glad to finally speak the words in hope of real, honest change. No need for fear or shame, only in hope of finding a universal voice to share. DCI is finally on the right path. Too long coming, but never too late.
A hundred hugs
A hundred back atcha, my friend!
Linda, I am so very sorry you experienced all those injustices & the horrific sexual assaults by men who were supposed to lead & guide you. Your stamina, determination & inner strength are to be admired & celebrated. Your story shared will hopefully encourage women, young & old, to stand up for themselves & reach for their own stars.
Thank you, Mary. Like you, I hope for change. It’s nice to exhale. I’m truly hoping that even one voice can raise a chorus of strength.
Linda, thank you for sharing an incredibly personal and real truth. My compliments to you for expressing yourself and also bringing back wonderful memories.
Thank you
Best Regards
Thank you, Gary, much appreciated. And, yes, there were, indeed, great memories in six decades of amazing drum corps.
Thank you, Linda for telling your very poignant story.
Thank you, Sir.
A frank reflection. Brava.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this part of your life’s story with us. These stories are changing the world we live in. BRAVO!
Thank you, Jeff. I hope that’s true, and hope that others find their voices. Change can only come when voices join in a chorus too loud to ignore.
Linda I have admired you since I was 10…I’m a little older now and my admiration level has increased reading this compelling article. Your story is very moving. I hope with it’s publication and reception your undeserved frustration and shame turns into something more positive. Many years later you continue to be a great influence on us. Thank you for your courage.
Thank you, Jim. I’ve never dwelled on the past, nor have I felt cheated or angry. No shame, either, because I truly believe I did nothing wrong. I’ve always felt that every experience offers an opportunity to learn and grow. Wisdom is the result of rising above the negative, growing from the experiences, and finding compassion for those who have not yet found their voice. Thank you for your kind words. You “boys” will always own a a piece of my heart. I’m proud to have been a part of the Crusaders. Be well.
Bravo to you for sharing your truth. And for obviously rising above the many obvious mistakes of people who couldn’t know any better. So glad I have lived to see a world coming to grips with evil in it’s many disguises. I admire your courage.
Thank you, John. I truly hope you’re right. Change can only come when we all speak out and speak up. Truth doesn’t always take courage. Sometimes it just takes time.
Thank you Linda. This is a very important story, and you are very courageous to tell it. As the recent scandals show, things have not changed enough. Your story needs to be spread throughout our entire activity. We take young people and move them away from the support of their family and college environment. We give staff huge power over them, and winning outweighs very other issue. The sexism of the patriarchy is less oppressive now, but the evils from power unbalance have not changed. You are very brave, and I admire you.
Dennis, as always you humble me. I’ve known you since you were 10 years old in the St. Mary’s Crusaders color guard. I am blessed to call you friend to this day, and I’m forever grateful for your continued wisdom. Thanks for reminding me of some absolutely wonderful years teaching.
Linda,
you are one of the great stories in drum corp. You would have been a great drum major. you are a fighter, a winner and best of all you were a friend to everyone. Your Dad and family were always so proud of you. I am glad to have marched with you and to have known you all these years……Jerry OB
Wow! Jerry, thank you. Yes, my Dad loved helping the corps and making hat boxes or anything else that needed to be done. Mom and Daisy McRae, along with MA Raffa were amazing chaperones, so I was a very lucky young lady. Thanks for thinking of them. Dad’s been gone 40 years this year, Mom 33. You’re very kind. We had some wonderful times half a century ago. I’ll always cherish that. Be well!
Well Done.
Thank you, Sir.